Reflections from the midlife trenches, erotic fiction and other shenanigans. Owner of If Not Now, When publication. Active blogger at

And expanded my repertoire of sexual knowledge

Image by Espressolia from Pixabay

During a phase of self-imposed sexual suppression likely fueled by hormonal perimenopause symptoms, I began to explore the written form of porn; erotica.

Imagine my disappointment when I discovered much of the written content designed to titillate and arouse was bad. Horrible, in fact.

I found most stories to be…

And what they don’t

source: (Claudette Labriola)

Analyzing stats in terms of tracking where your followers are coming from can be part of the fun when building a blogging community. I should know, I’ve been at it for 16 years…

Even after all this time, I realized I didn’t know very much about the stats page…

Late night practices during on-again, off-again pandemic restrictions — life of a hockey and ringette mom in Canada

Photo by Matthew Sichkaruk on Unsplash

It’s dark but mild. The wind, remnants of that destructive Kentucky tornado, swept away all the white Christmassy snow.

I sit in my jacket but without my winter coat in the driver’s seat of my twenty year old car.

I can see the arena from my vantage point.

Under my…

Effects of ghosting on friendship and dating

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

Let’s say you have a friendship with a person who is not the same gender as you (and you are both heterosexual).

Let’s say there may or may not be some spark between you.

Let’s say the friendship is platonic and continues to be this way and is mutually accepted…

And lift your mental fog, gain clarity and feel a lot happier*

Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

I have uncovered the secret to increasing your energy levels.

Don’t believe me? That’s ok. Stay tired, confused, irritated and bloated. I understand. I was like that for a long time too.

But if you want to feel better immediately, then read on.

My method works, allows for slip-ups, and…

What to do when you feel love anyway

Photo by Paul Cusick on Unsplash

Before I began to type this essay I contemplated how much research I should put into it. Should I dig up some statistics? Anecdotes from other people? Psychological analysis from so-called experts? Scientific data?

I quickly became overwhelmed, a term someone coined as Analysis Paralysis. (Ok fine, I googled that…


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